Food in the Name of Celebration: A Nutritional Paradox
by Wendell Fowler
“Hey, it’s Grandpa Milty's birthday. Let’s send out for a jumbo, double cheese, pepperoni and sausage pizza, and, oh, yes, will someone pick up a gooey cake from the grocery, along with that yummy Sterling Vineyard Chardonnay he likes?” Why not just plunge a corkscrew into the ole’ boy’s heart?
“Hey, it’s Grandpa Milty's birthday. Let’s send out for a jumbo, double cheese, pepperoni and sausage pizza, and, oh, yes, will someone pick up a gooey cake from the grocery, along with that yummy Sterling Vineyard Chardonnay he likes?” Why not just plunge a corkscrew into the ole’ boy’s heart?
For as long as I recall, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and other mile-markers in life, were our culture’s green light for innocently, and unknowingly indulging in un-natural, chemically treated, processed foods that suck our energy, render our body toxic, weaken our immune system, and thwart our mental capacity, all as we eagerly hoist a glass, or five, of cheer to toast the occasion, ultimately rendering us brain-dead the next morning. Happy Birthday, Milty, got any Pepto?
It’ pains me to recollect, when I used to take cocktailing to Olympian levels, that in order to endure my mind-numbing hangover, I found paradoxical solace in a greasy, bucket o' Col Sanders Gizzards, creamy slaw, and package of lard-glazed, Dunkin’ Sticks. It’s a true miracle that I recovered from terminal heart disease, but that was one hundred pounds ago; but who’s counting?
Why is it, in the holy name of tradition and celebration, do humans rationalize eating, drinking, and snacking on all the ‘forbidden’ foods: artfully decorated cakes composed of animal lard shortening; cheese- filled pizza crust, greasy meats, eggnog, ribs, full-fat ice cream, cookies, quarts of sugary, carbonated soft drinks, and, often, one too many cocktails. Of course, we mustn’t omit the succulent, nitrate laced hot dogs and sumptuous, char-grilled, super-sized, cow burgers. Last year at Granddaughter Morgan’s birthday, we were all blue-lipped after shoveling down birthday cake with one-and a half inches of electric blue icing. Later, through the bathroom door, I could barely make out grandpa mumbling, “Corn, when did I eat blue corn?” I digress.
Here is an artery clogging example of gluttony: according to Nutrition Action Newsletter, Pizza Hut’s “The New Yorker” weighs in at three pounds raw. Even if you split this monster with three other people, your slices will end up with 760 meaningless calories and a full day’s quota of eighteen grams saturated fat and an artery-detonating 2,280 mg. of sodium.
Next time, celebrate with a Healthy Choice Supreme French Bread Pizza and you’ll take in a scant 330 calories, 1.2 grams of fat, and 600 mg of sodium. Now that’s something we can celebrate in good conscience!
Are Americans trading off the future health of our loving families for a moment of selfish, instant gratification? Yes! It’s a stressful world, and we desire to feel good. When we get the least bit stressed, depressed, or desire to celebrate, we find solace in food and beverage, our best buddies.
Tiffany, my daughter, sincerely wants her family to eat better, but protests to me that grocery shelves creaking, moaning, and bending from the sheer mass of over processed foods, high fructose corn syrup, and hydrogenated fats. Got to take a breath. Okay, rendered deceased animal lard, chemical food colorings, bleach, sodium bisulfate, aluminum, bovine hormones, antibiotics, synthesized sugars, and designer ‘bowel-WOW! ‘fats, like the gastrointestinal, bowl churning, Olean. Yummy-licious!
Like a hiker whose lost his bearings, Tiff tells me she gets the bulk of her cardiovascular exercise by circling aisle after aisle, wearing out her tennies, hunting and gathering fresh, wholesome foods for her family. “It’s a dangerous place, a grocery store,” she tells me, ‘with eye-catching, circus-like mountains of candy, cereals, junky, albeit, seductive and attractively colored packages, all screaming, …“if you want to be hip, buy me, no, buy me.” Beware that you are being flimflammed by greedy Madison Avenue advertising firms who’ve mastered the art of deciding what your family should eat and what is hip. Learn, as a family, how to think for yourselves. For example: Do you think you dog cares whether Gravy Train makes it’s own gravy?
Bottom-line driven grocers profit most by what is selling at eye level, while most of the healthier selections which you are searching out, like whole wheat crackers, sea salt or benign expeller pressed oils, are on the lower shelves, around your ankles.
This reminds me that as a naive’ twenty-something, my old school training came from various north shore seafood restaurants and Boston Delicatessens, where kindly old deli-men would explain, “Mendel. Eye appeal is buy appeal, and eye level, is buy level.” Since then, I snicker every time I go thought grocery checkout. They were right. My suggestion: politely urge the grocery store managers to provide healthier alternatives. If the grocery store manager is over weight, however, I venture you will get an incredulous look.
Change the Game Plan and Eat Smarter!
First, grasp the reality of your intentions. After recent observation of the ‘Annual Halloween Glucose Field-Day,’ Sandi and looked at each other, said, ‘Yikes!,’ shook our heads, aghast at the amount of sugary, food- colorings and killer fats we dished out, knowing good and well we are really screwing with the children’s health, ironically, in the name of tradition. ‘Halloween; diabetes best friend,’ Sandi smirked. Perhaps next Halloween, we’ll atone our unforgivable behavior by encouraging one of our grandchildren to dress up as a distressed pancreas, and collect for the American Diabetic Association.
Go for color and variety: take the kids to the grocery and introduce them to Mr. Roy G. Biv. (Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet) Try comparing vegetables to the color of the rainbow. Make selecting healthy food fun for the kids by taking them for an educational stroll through the produce isle before they inevitably drag you to the candy section. Tell them that colorful plant foods are diamonds and that they are the jeweler. This way, when their teacher asks them where vegetable and fruit come from, your kids won’t say, “the grocery store.” When your children become adults, they will NOT willingly eat what they were NOT offered as youngsters. Studies show eight to 15 exposures are needed to gain acceptance of new foods.
Unless you’ve been living under a pile of rock candy, we can all agree that eating more plant foods has miraculous health benefits. Eating more plant foods helps cut your families intake of animal foods, which, when eaten in super-sized quantities, are linked to a whole bunch of degenerative diseases.
Rock the house! Add a variety of taste, texture, excitement, and color to your next celebration by encouraging everyone to experiment with new foods and new combinations. Aesthetically arranged fruit and vegetable trays, or turkey breast wraps, and low-fat chips are several ways to add health to a celebration. Produce provides key vitamins and minerals, not to mention some wonderful taste experiences. So, try avocado on your turkey burger, or assemble a pretty bowl of yogurt, garnish with fresh fruit, and serve it over angel food cake. And, what ever happened to home- made popcorn, as opposed to the trans-fat laden, microwave versions. What are we teaching our children? A missed opportunity to create a memory, share a legacy of togetherness at the stove, each excitedly taking his turn shaking the pan till the last kernel exploded, dousing the hot corn with gobs of butter, then sitting at the TV watching Ed Sullivan, nibbling out of the same wooden bowl together. Not Ed, just us. Does anyone remember doing that? Not only will you help them make new discoveries, but also increase their motivation by realizing that celebration meals can be adventurous, fun, healing, and delicious.
Of course, replace the butter with olive oil, or a non-trans fat margarine, please!
Add power foods to the celebration menu like: Peanut Butter and Jelly Sammy’s made with organic peanut butter from the whole foods store, or Smuckers Natural, trans-fat free, peanut butter. Consider no-sugar-added jams, bean dips, turkey wraps with shredded veggies, oatmeal cookies, low-fat cheese, sorbet, watermelon wedges, blueberries in low-fat sour cream, apples slices spread with peanut butter, turkey chile, and deviled eggs, using low-fat mayonnaise. Or how about Humus with whole-wheat pita bread, pretzels with mustard, homemade whole wheat pizza, brown rice cakes with slices of low-fat cheese topped with salsa? Just think small.
If nature didn't make it, don’t buy it.
It shouldn’t come as a shock that seventy-percent of the products on the shelves are there just to take your money. Notice how many rows they have of soda, cereal, and snacks. Look what they've done to the potato--instant potatoes, mashed potatoes, French fries, tater tots, shoe string, chips, and twice baked. Notice the shelves along the aisles. Everything is conveniently displayed close to your reach--a ploy by the store to buy those manufactured products. On the lower shelves are products aimed at susceptible children. Eye level is buy level. Glance lower or higher, and you will find the same products--for less; And for gosh sakes, stay away from processed and imitation foods. Your family deserves better.
Kick the vending machine mentality. You’re smarter than that.
Instead of trying to win the family popularity contest, why not use celebrations to educate, glorify life and nature, rather than to reinforce negative behavior, perpetuating degenerative disease. Tradition: thy name be stubbornness. It’s got to change someday; it must.
Wendell Fowler is the author of Eat Right, Now! Recipes for a Healthy Lifestyle.
www.wendellfowler.com
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